


need you, want you (I'm right here)

by MoonlightBreeze



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: (I AM SO PLEASED THIS WAS ALREADY A TAG), Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland Friendship, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Simon Lewis, Boys In Love, Bullying, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, M/M, My first time writing Jimon, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Protective Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Simon Lewis Needs a Hug, Slurs, Soft Jace Wayland, Supportive Jace Wayland, no beta we die like men, see my author's note for more details
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26040697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightBreeze/pseuds/MoonlightBreeze
Summary: Simon comes to Jace crying after enduring some harsh words from bullies at school. Jace takes care of his boyfriend as best he can.Hopeful/happy ending.Contains homophobic & ableist slurs - see my author's note for more details. <3
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Comments: 16
Kudos: 135





	need you, want you (I'm right here)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So, I've always wanted to write Jimon, but I've just never gotten around to it. Then a line in [my friend's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell) [amazing fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25972987) about Simon crying in Jace's living room gave me an idea and it spiraled into this. 
> 
> The title is from a country song that I really like - points if you know it! (I never thought I'd title my fics with song lyrics, but here we are.)
> 
> This is really, really soft and heavy on the hurt/comfort. It's also a high school AU and there is some bullying involved. Please be aware, there are some homophobic and ableist slurs present in this fic, including the 'f' word and the 'r' word. Make sure and keep yourselves safe, lovelies! <3
> 
> With that being said, let's get on to the story! Kudos make my day and comments validate my existence, so please feel free to leave those, if you want :) And as always, I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
> 
> ~ Em

Jace knew that whenever Simon came in without knocking, it was bad. So when he heard the door creaking and spied telltale maroon Converse making their way inside, Jace went to the hallway and his boyfriend immediately. 

Simon stood in the lobby, a little uncertainly, clutching his jacket close to his chest. His cheeks were stained with tears, and Jace felt his heart breaking a little. He strode forward and wrapped Simon in a hug. 

“It’s okay, Si,” he said. “I’m here.” 

At Jace’s words, Simon started to cry again, burying his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder. Jace clutched him tighter. His heart clenched at the sound of Simon’s sobs, and though he would never admit it, tears pricked his own eyes at hearing Simon in so much pain. 

Jace moved a hand to Simon’s hair, stroking his fingers through it and pressing him even closer. This was something that Alec had done to comfort him when they were younger. He knew it would make Simon feel held, loved, protected. He placed a light kiss to his boyfriend’s shoulder blade and willed the universe to stop hurting him. Simon was so, so _pure_. He was the last person in the world that deserved to be crying at 4 o’clock in the afternoon in his boyfriend’s living room. 

“S-Sorry,” Simon managed to choke out between sobs. 

“Hey,” Jace said strongly, and he tilted Simon’s head back just enough to meet his gaze head-on. “Don’t say that. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Simon nodded roughly, and Jace let him bury his face in Jace’s shoulder once again. He supposed he was worse, always insisting he was fine until Simon had to practically scream in his face that he wasn’t. He supposed, really, Simon’s consistent need to apologise for this, for breaking down, for leaning on Jace, wasn’t all that bad. But he still hated it. It was the last thing in the world he needed to apologise for. 

Jace maneuvered himself and Simon onto the sofa, tugging Simon so that the other boy was resting practically in his lap. Simon curled closer, relaxing into Jace’s arms. Jace felt his eyes fill with tears again. This boy, this wonderful, _perfect_ boy, trusted him enough to let go. Simon trusted _him_.

It was the biggest honour Jace had ever been given. 

After a few minutes, soft footsteps in the hall alerted Jace to someone else’s presence. He looked up to see Alec, standing in the hallway looking equal parts confused and concerned. He raised an eyebrow at Jace, a nonverbal ‘Is he okay?’ to which Jace nodded slightly. Alec gave him a short nod in return and made himself scarce. Jace was glad for that. As much progress as he and Alec had made over the past few months, Jace knew that Simon was still a little scared of Alec. His older brother could be intimidating, especially to a junior in high school that just wanted to spend time with his boyfriend. 

“Hey, Si,” Jace said, brushing a piece of Simon’s hair out of his eyes. “You okay?” It was a stupid question, Jace knew, but he also knew that Simon would answer it. His cries had quietened down some and he looked like he had better control of himself, like he might tell Jace what had happened now. 

“No,” Simon muttered against Jace’s neck. “No, not really.”

“What happened?”

“ _They_ happened,” Simon said morosely. Jace immediately knew who he was talking about. Johnathan Morgenstern and his ruthless gang of bullies, also known as the Circle. They had been tormenting Simon and Jace since their freshman year. 

“What did they say?” Jace’s arms tightened around Simon. He was going to kill them for hurting Simon. He was going to _kill them_ -

“Please don’t,” Simon whispered, and Jace realised with a start that his hands had clenched into fists of their own accord. “It won’t solve anything.”

Jace pressed his mouth into a tight line and didn’t answer. 

“Don’t leave me,” Simon whispered. “Jace, please.”

Whatever thoughts of killing Morgenstern and his band of bullies Jace had had disappeared quickly. He could exact his revenge on them later. Right now, his boyfriend needed him. 

“What did they say to you?” Jace asked softly. He knew it must have been worse than normal to warrant such a response. 

“They c-called me a fag,” Simon said. His entire body was trembling, and Jace pressed a light kiss to his forehead and held him tighter, trying to get him to settle. “A-And a retard. And a sissy and a gay boy and a freak.” Tears spilled from his eyes again. “They shoved me into a locker and - and shouted at me, telling me I’m not a real man and I’ll nev-never amount to anything.” 

Jace felt rage choke him with a burning, vice-like grip, but he tried to keep it down, for Simon’s sake. Simon was crying softly again, and Jace wrapped his arms around the boy as tight as he could, deepening their embrace. He rested his chin on Simon’s head and wished there was more he could do for him. 

“I’m not even gay,” Simon cried out, his voice choked with tears. “I’m-I’m pan. Not that it matters to them.” He pressed his lips to Jace’s neck in a wet, openmouthed kiss that was as much for himself as it was for Jace. Jace didn’t know what to say. He never did. So he did what he did best, and held his boyfriend as close as possible. Maybe if he could meld their bodies together, make Simon feel how much he loved him, he would forget their hateful words and cruel remarks. 

Over Simon’s head, Jace saw Alec watching from the hall. He looked as angry as Jace felt. The two of them shared a look, and then Alec was stalking back into his bedroom. When he returned, he was wearing a leather jacket and black jeans that would have made Magnus drool and he was carrying a baseball bat. 

“Remember what Smith said,” Jace grinned at Alec. “Make sure you’re off school property.”

“Oh, I will,” Alec promised. “Do I look that dumb to you?”

“I don’t know, you usually - ” Jace cut himself off when Simon made a loud, alarmed noise. He raised his head from Jace’s shoulder and looked between the brothers in confusion. When he caught sight of Alec’s outfit and the wooden bat in his hands, his eyes widened. 

“You’re not going to - ”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” Alec growled. He stalked towards the door and turned to face Simon just before he walked out. “They hurt you. They’re going to pay. I have a mask and my boyfriend’s a lawyer, I can afford to do this. The two of you still have to graduate high school.” With that, Alec turned and left, shutting the door behind him and leaving Jace & Simon alone. 

“Is he really going to - ”

“Yes,” Jace answered simply. “That’s what I wanted to do, but you needed me.”

Simon smiled at this, a tiny, barely-there smile that made Jace beam in response. “I always need you.”

Jace lowered his head to kiss the tip of Simon’s nose. “And I always need you.”

Simon bit his lip and looked at Jace fearfully. “He’s not really going to hurt them, is he?”

Jace huffed out a laugh. “No, Alec’s too much of a softie for that. He’s just going to scare them, maybe rough them up a little bit.” 

Simon breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

“Did you really think he would?”

“I don’t know,” Simon admitted. “He’s awfully loyal to the people he cares about.”

“That he is,” Jace nodded. “But Alec would never hurt someone unless he had to, unless he was protecting you or me or Izzy or Magnus. He may _want_ to hurt them, sure, but he won’t.”

“Good.”

Jace pressed a delicate kiss to Simon’s hairline and tapped his cheek lovingly. “Hey.”

“Hey, what?”

“You know none of what they said is true, right, Si?” Jace said, fixing his boyfriend with a serious look. “That was complete bullshit.”

Simon hesitated, biting his lip and avoiding Jace’s gaze. Jace narrowed his eyes and caught Simon’s chin in a firm grip. “Simon. None of what those dicks said is true.”

Jace’s boyfriend sighed and rested his head on Jace’s shoulder once more. “Do you know how many times I’ve been called a retard, Jace?”

Jace cringed. “No.”

“A lot,” Simon said, sighing heavily. “And, you know, sometimes when something is said over and over again, you start to believe it, even if it’s just a little bit.”

Jace hoped with all of his might that Alec was scaring the kids that had hurt Simon within an inch of their lives. It would be less than they deserved. “Simon, look at me,” Jace said firmly, and Simon reluctantly focused his gaze on Jace’s cheek, which Jace was pleased to note. It had taken months for Jace to convince Simon that he didn’t find his aversion to eye contact weird or unsettling, and weeks after that for Jace to make him understand that when he said, “Look at me,” he didn’t mean that he wanted Simon to _actually_ look at him. 

“You are _not_ a retard,” Jace said firmly. He knew that Simon’s autism had been a point of contention between him and his father when he’d been alive. He also knew that all of the rude comments and intolerant remarks that his father had made were ones that Simon would never forget. It made Jace sick. 

“You are extremely smart,” Jace reassured him. “That word is harsh and not something I’d use even if I thought someone was a complete dumbass. They’re just being hateful.” He kissed the top of Simon’s hairline. “Don’t listen to them, Si.”

When Simon said nothing, he pressed on hurriedly, determined to get the Circle’s rhetoric out of his boyfriend’s mind. “You understand things a bit differently. There’s nothing wrong with that. I love it, personally.” That got a smile out of Simon, so Jace continued down that route. “I love the way you get that cute little confused look on your face when I use an expression or Alec says something sarcastic. I love it when you ramble about Star Trek for hours and I love the way you blush when you realise how long you’ve been talking. I always have to tell you I don’t mind, because I never do.” He grabbed Simon’s hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “I love how you bounce on the balls of your feet when you’re concentrating hard, and I love it when you steal Magnus’s rings to stim with.” He leaned over to whisper in Simon’s ear conspiratorially. “Don’t tell him I told you, but so does Magnus.”

Simon was smiling now, and Jace felt like he had succeeded. “Don’t ever listen to them,” he said, and he gave Simon one final, firm kiss to the edge of his jaw. “They’re nothing but a bunch of bullies who want to prey on your weaknesses. Don’t let them.”

“I know,” Simon breathed, much to Jace’s relief. “I know you’re right, it’s just hard to remember sometimes.”

Jace gave Simon a squeeze and kissed his neck gently. “Well, I’m always here whenever you need a reminder.”

Simon sighed and rested his forehead against Jace’s shoulder, speaking quietly. “Can you play a song for me?”

“Sure,” Jace agreed easily. “Which one?” He helped Simon to his feet and took his boyfriend’s hand. Together they walked over to the antique piano in the corner of the room, where Jace sat down and drummed his fingers over the keys, waiting for a response from Simon. 

Simon sat down in a nearby armchair and tugged it as close as possible to the piano bench. Watching his boyfriend play was mesmerizing, and Simon didn’t think he’d ever get enough of it. “I don’t know,” he said after a minute of Jace shooting him poorly veiled looks of expectancy. “Surprise me.”

“Prepare to be dazzled,” Jace responded, and he began to play. 

Jace’s lack of sheet music did not go unnoticed by his boyfriend, and Simon thought (not for the first time) that Jace really could make it as a musician if he wanted to. 

It took him a few seconds to recognise the song, but when he did, Simon jumped up and threw his arms around Jace, shoving him over so he could sit on the piano bench next to him. 

Jace chuckled. “Like it?”

“You know I do,” Simon murmured. “It’s our song.”

Jace grinned and placed a firm kiss to Simon’s lips. “Did you really think I’d play anything else?”

Simon smiled and snuggled into Jace’s side, his steady heartbeat comforting him along with the music that Simon could swear was like magic sometimes. He wasn’t sure how or why he’d gotten this, what he’d done to deserve a boyfriend like Jace, but he knew without a doubt that he was the luckiest person in the world. 

And when Alec came back a few hours later, toting the wooden bat and wearing a self-satisfied smirk, it was to the sight of his brother and Simon fast asleep on the piano bench. He snapped a picture of Jace’s drooling for blackmail purposes and covered them up with an afghan from the couch before walking into his room to get changed and call Magnus. 

Simon would be okay. Jace would, too. As Alec prepared to go out to dinner with his own boyfriend, he knew that they would _all_ be fine, as long as they had each other. 

Alone, they were strong. Together, they were unstoppable. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Stalk me on Tumblr](http://moonlight-breeze-44.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Prompts are open!
> 
> Want to embrace your inner chaotic fandom participant? Require somewhere to scream about Shadowhunters and other fandoms? Need writing advice, encouragement, or new friends? [Join our Discord server](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD) and find your place in a community of fandom-ers livin' it up! We welcome everyone, and we would love to have you. <3


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